The third fertility specialist was with the National Health Service and by then my FSH level soared to 150 and when they tested my anti mullerian hormone levels, the doctor reported that my low AMH level was pretty much nonexistent at 0.01. It’s best, he said, that I move toward a donor egg cycle as soon as possible, because, the later I do it, the less chance of success. So not only was I devastated, now I was in a frenzy, feeling I had to act immediately or else all chances of having a baby would be gone.
I was about to talk to my younger sister asking her if she’d consider being my donor but then something just made me stop. I’m not even sure what it was that got me feeling that what I was hearing especially about the rush toward egg donation didn’t make sense. I was only 34. I was reading about women going through successful egg donor cycles in their late forties, even early fifties. Why was this fertility specialist in such a rush to get me sign up for egg donation? It didn’t feel right to me, so I decided I needed to just take a break, give myself a chance to sort things through.
The Fertile Heart OVUM Practice
And that’s when one day searching for some information on fertility herbs I found Fertile Heart. I immediately got The Fertile Female and Inconceivable, started to work with the Imagery CD’s, and when I heard the Expert Within Imagery it was a kind of an instant enlightenment! I suddenly felt how true that was that I had been going to all these external experts, but really had no idea who my fertility expert within was, or how I would access her wisdom.
Gradually as I became more familiar with the Ovum ideas, the answers to that question seemed to come when I least expected them. When I joined a teleconference I immediately felt like this was a whole different way of looking at infertility. It was such a welcoming community and the focus was on truly mothering ourselves and turning this into an opportunity no matter how things turned out. I loved that!
I kept reading and re-reading the chapters in The Fertile Female. If I got down on my body about not doing what I wanted it to do, I’d read Issues in Your Tissues. For a while it was my favorite chapter. The Fertile Heart tools helped me get through the most crushing times, I had the CD’s on my iPhone and would listen to them whenever I felt like hopelessness was taking over. I’d do the Wailing Wall from the Body Truth CD when I got enraged at the pressure, which, looking back, was all about money making. But at the time I was so vulnerable that without these tools and without finally accessing the fertility expert within, it would’ve been so easy for me to succumb to the pressure.
Gradually I started looking at my life and this journey through a very different lens and I actually started looking at this journey as a great gift. I know you might be saying it’s easy for her to say that now. But the truth is that even before I became pregnant I realized what a gift this journey was for me.