by Morgan H.
My 18-20 week ultrasound had been booked for weeks. And I couldn’t have been more excited about it.
Then, about three days before the big event, I found myself doubting whether or not I should go. I wasn’t sure where the doubt was coming from, but decided to do some research about whether or not 18-20 wk ultraounds are really necessary. I read Ina May Gaskin and Christiane Northrup, among others, who basically said that ultrasounds aren’t medically necessary and that every mom should decide for herself whether or not she wants one.
Surprisingly, those wise words didn’t really help. There I was, on the eve of my ultrasound, still struggling with whether or not to go.
It was then that I remembered my OVUM toolbox – the trusty little case of wisdom that saved my life during my journey towards this baby, and has come in handy in countless situations since.
I asked, “what part of me doesn’t want to have this ultrasound?”
And my orphan appeared. She was afraid. Afraid that the doctor would say something was wrong, just like they did when she received her POF diagnosis.
Shortly afterwards, my visionary came into the picture. She was in the ultrasound room, watching her beautiful baby move, filled with confidence that everything would be just fine.
And with the knowledge that she could handle it if it wasn’t.
The Ultimate Mom was looking down – I knew could trust her, remembering that the POF diagnosis that first seemed so devastating has turned out to be the most beautiful gift. So I went to the ultrasound. And was informed by my doctor that baby has a Choriod Plexus cyst. Apparently just a part of development and nothing to be worried about. Good thing my toolbox is close by…
(reposting since it says my comments has been awaiting moderation for a week)
Thank you, thank you for posting. I am almost 15 weeks pregnant. My husband and I still get a little nervous at each doctor’s appointment that something won’t be ok. (He less so now as ‘he just has a good feeling’, which has not been his usual MO in this process) And, my worry orphan pops up, reminding me to be cautious as I know so many stories of fetuses not being vital, even a day before the due date. So, she reduces my celebration and joy. Then I remember that my own story is being crafted now, not someone else’s story…and, I appreciate your reminder as I too am in relationship with my visionary and ultimate mom and can look to them for guidance.