New Here and feeling lost and alone NEED some words of support!

kaycee Posted 1 month ago #

Hi,

I found Julia's book and read it in one night. Fabulous and here I am.

I just turned 43 and had a miscarriage in January at 6 weeks. Since then my cycles are so short 11 - 21 days with only 1 30 day cycle. I got back last month my first FSH test at 23. All other tests seemed okay (low progesterone though)

I am ovulating.

I started the wheat grass 3 weeks ago and juicing 2 weeks ago. I stopped all dairy, gluten and refined sugar / carbs 3 months ago.
I feel good and see improvement in my skin and energy.

Today I got my period at 11 days after a 30 day cycle. It is so disheartening. I started working with a Dr of Chinese Herb and Acupuncture a month ago and had the 30 day cycle and felt very optimistic. He has me drink this awful tea. I like him as a person but he lacks the magic of possibility. He says he thinks I can get pregnant again but speaks about my aging eggs and time as the enemy.

My husband is indifferent about having another child (we have a 5.5 year old). He adores our child and was indifferent to having her but fell madly in love with her on sight. He is supporting me on this journey as he knows I really want a second child and a sibling for our current child. He says it's not that he doesn't want another but he doesn't feel the deep urge that I do and is happy and grateful for the one we have.

I feel lost. Two close friends are pregnant, one had a miscarriage after me. I feel alone and find I am semi absent from my present life and child.

I wonder if I need to find someone who is more verbally supportive than this Dr. Don't get me wrong he has a sense of hope but just spews out (when I ask questions) western medicine stats that don't support my beliefs or journey.

I need some support and help believing in my own intuition and that with 11 day cycles I can still get pregnant again.

I felt this spirit here one month but didn't act on it because of advice from a naturopath to wait for two long cycles. I regret this and I regret having had an abortion in the first year of my relationship with my husband as he wasn't ready.

I am sad and can't stop crying.

Any words will help.

Thanks
Kaycee
gal Posted 1 month ago #

Hi Kaycee,

Welcome. There are alot of older posts in these message boards that show others who have not had a typical 28 day cycle and went on to conceive. It sounds in your post that you have some doubts about the tcm doctor you are seeing. There is nothing wrong with switching to someone else. I visited with an accupuncturist and herbalist who was connected with the RE I see but after a few months I could see she was not right for me. I had been talking to another tcm herbalist/accupuncturist who I switched to. Working with her makes me feel like I am genuinely doing something good for my body and mind. I don't look at her like the complete answer to my fertility journey, but she has become a source of personal support for me.

These older posts I speak of also contain many others feelings of sadness, regret, powerlessness. Did you read "Inconceivable" or the "Fertile Female?" The tools in the "Fertile Female" have really helped me understand my sad feelings and despair and after tending to the parts of me that needed understanding I could indeed move forward to what I long for.

Hope this brings you some peace,
Gal

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