I’m in the midst of recording my next imagery CD and what I thought would be a three-session–production, has turned into three weeks of editing and additional rerording yet to be done.
So once again, the blog was on hold, until two wonderful Fertile Heart™ moms sent a couple of emails that set my soul on fire.
It started with Kristen, a former client, and a lovely, active member of this community, who gave birth to beautiful little boy a few weeks ago:
“Hi, Julia,
Have you heard the story about the woman who won the 112 million lottery? She was on TV recently telling her story. She was helping to get her brother’s children out of foster care for him when he passed away. She made it her mission to get them out and she was successful. There are 5 children and she is raising them now. She lost her job shortly after filing for custody of the kids and had always used visualization to help her through life. She had visualized not needing money or having enough money not to worry and she visualized the number 112 million. She played the lottery maybe twice a month. When she saw the jackpot was for 112 million she bought a ticket knowing this was her lottery and she won! I don’t know what to think of her story but I immediately thought of you and your imagery work…I have to start my imagery work again and keep moving towards the life I desire for me and my family. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this story- thought it was interesting if nothing else:-) Love, Kristen”
And the next day, as I took a break from listening to the latest draft of the new Imagery CD, I got an email with a subject line that read: Frustrating Experience, from Daryn, the gorgeous mama who, with her husband Matt generously shared their story a few weeks ago, in NewTimes, their local daily newspaper.
Daryn writes:
Hi, Julia,
I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend. I felt the need to vent to you about a little incident I had last night. Matt is racing in a triathlon this weekend and was participating in a practice swim at a local pond last night. Camryn and I tagged along so that she could play in the sand and water while Matt swam. As we were walking up to the beach I noticed that our first RE, the gentleman who so kindly passed me a box of tissues BEFORE he even gave me his damning diagnosis, was also preparing to take a practice swim. I did my best to smile and walk by.
45 minutes later we are getting back into the car to leave and the fertility doctor approaches us, asking “Are you Daryn?”, I said yes and then he proceeded to say who he was…we politely said, Hi and Matt introduced him to Camryn. He then asked me if I was pregnant again (I am almost 8 months…sort of a silly question),I laughed and pointed to my belly and said “yes, I sure hope so” he says “Well…you two should buy lottery tickets…I am not kidding you should buy lottery tickets!” and walked away. I don’t consider myself a violent person, but I had to fight the urge not to attack his smug little face.
It is just amazing that after all this time, we have a beautiful 1 year old and a baby on the way and this guy can get to me. I am sure he saw the article (as his office was quoted) and felt the need to refute our process. I had nightmares last night…isn’t it funny how quickly the orphans return and how long it takes to evoke the ultimate mother.
I thought you might find the story and my reaction interesting.
I hope you are well! Take care!
All my best.
Daryn
So how do we win the Fertility Lottery? Is it all just a matter of luck? Or a matter of some “secret law of attraction” formula that we follow because someone tells us it works?
How do we respond to fertility doctors who– threatened by our courage to question their bleak prognosis and narrowly defined views of reproductive health– act-out their fears by dismissing our efforts? Do we send them links to “groundbreaking” research studies that validate what all thoughtful people can discover in the laboratory of their our own bodies: That images, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, the food we eat, our relationships have a profound effect on our hormones and health?
I am far from an expert on hitting the mega-million lotto jackpot. But I do know how I choose to live my life and what my choices have taught me so far.
I can also report on what I see and observe through my work with others. I can pass on what I have witnessed in the lives of the hundreds of people I’ve worked with in the last fifteen years: Deep conscious healing, healing that can reverse a hopeless diagnosis, happens as a result of our active, knowing, passionate participation in the healing process.
And it can also happen un-consciously, when we simply respond to the opportunities that Life places before us by doing what feels right. Usually what feels right depends on what we have learned so far about ourselves, our histories, our bodies, and the rules of the Human Game.
The healing process, as all creative work, is also full of Mystery. The Weaver that linked Cynthia Stafford’s lottery winning story with Kristen, and Daryn’s, the ingenious Author that brought Daryn’s doctor into the narrative with such impeccable timing is not a Force we’re meant to manipulate and control, or a vending machine that responds to the right affirmation by sending a baby down the chute. Yet it’s a Force I can collaborate with, bow to and wrestle with, until I live my way into the answers i seek.
Cynthia Stafford tells us that she has been engaged with the invisible world of images for years, and it sounds like the five orphaned children have given her the opportunity to bring a great deal of healing into her family. How wonderful that she will hopefully be able to take care of herself and the children in a way that all children deserve to be taken care of!
Kristen and Daryn, and the many women and men I’ve had the privilege to meet who beat allegedly unbeatable odds, have walked toward the winning-fertility ticket by using imagery and the rest of the Fertile Heart™ tools, to actively, knowingly engage in the healing process. And as Kristen points out that process is meant to continue if they are to remain fully fertile. As Daryn observes, the Orphans don’t go away, they just become more visible and we learn to respond to them more effectively.
As I see it, at this stage of our collective evolution, we can no longer afford to settle for remaining un-aware in any arena of our private or public lives. How else do we discover our own power to co-create a safer world for our children, if we don’t claim our power to co-create our bodies and lives?
Daryn’s fertility doctor became the “angel” of this story. He mirrored to us, just how important it is for us to claim our co-creative power, and how essential it is that we join together in independent communities with a safe space to strengthen the voice in us that refuses to be bullied by self-appointed authorities. (Just so this doesn’t become a doctor-bashing post, I also know that a growing number of physicians is becoming aware and supportive of a holistic view of disease.)
I understand from some of my reading, that many people, who win the lottery, ultimately find it difficult to use their winnings well. They fail to emotionally grow into their abundance.
So what I want to keep reminding myself, is that we, every one of us, has already won the lottery. We got to, in spite of staggering odds, show up on this earth in human form, with the astounding gift of self-awareness. The ability to know ourselves and to choose our actions!
“Whatever there be of progress in life comes not throught adaptation but through daring…To not dare is fatal,” says Henry Miller in one of his brilliant essays. Whether or not we keep on winning the Life-Lottery or become the winners of the ultimate Fertility Lottery, is less about hitting the jackpot and more about daring to full-heartedly engage in the Human Game.
